Chapter 2: The Impact of Daddy Deprivation

Initial thoughts:
I relate to the story from the beginning of the chapter where the guy felt guilty relating to others who physically did not have father's because he had one that was home but checked out.  I can point to a very specific period in my life where I was searching so desperately for someone to be my "daddy," failing to recognize that God was there wanting to take that role.  God desires intimacy with us, that as sons of His we have access to the ultimate caring, loving, present Father.  I am not surprised at the statistics and such and the ill effects of fatherlessness- I've seen it in the classroom and in the theater.  The relationship between the Spirit and us with regards to how we understand the Father is also important and something I haven't really thought of much.

Key words/phrases/sentences:
- Daddy deprivation (p. 19-22); fatherlessness, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or any combination
- replacement (p. 22-23); "everything He originally designed to be in our lives is essential. . . anything we try and use as replacement for God's original intention is dysfunctional."
- LGBTQ parenting (p. 24-25); the redefining of "family" as any unit with "love" between spouses; "LGBT is more than just a sexual issue, but it rails against gender clarity that facilitates men walking in their divine orientation according to God's created order."
- God's design for fatherhood (p. 27-30); built in since Genesis and the first marriage, that the union of two people has the expectation of passing on parenthood.  Fathers clarify our identity (Jacob and his sons' blessings as he died) and lead us spiritually (Proverbs father-> son relation).
- God as father (p. 31-34); the Spirit reveals God's fathership directly into our lives; Jesus provides a model to how He related to the Father
- emotional immaturity (p. 34-38); extended childhood, not being able to deal with problems and living in fantasy worlds (porn, drugs, video games); full of folly

Things to explore:
- How has daddy deprivation affected my life?

I understand that idea of having a dad who was physically present but emotionally unavailable. For a while I can remember that my dad would come home, immediately go onto the computer and play Freewill until dinner, and then we might all sit and eat dinner together? Or pretend to. And then he'd either turn on sports, or if there wasn't a game, then go back to Freewill. I know that I struggle with being accepted. I've black sheep syndrome and I know that I fight that tendency, the concept from Tender is the Night: "Most people think everybody feels about them much more violently than they actually do; they think other people's opinions of them swing through great arcs of approval or disapproval."

- In what ways do I understand God as father?  And where do I not?

I enjoy being able to talk to God whenever, about everything that's going on. I am depending on Him for provision and know He's looking out for me. I know that I don't immediately turn to God for advice. At least, not when the heat is on. If I have time to analyze and get into the Word, then great, but in immediate responses I do not go straight to prayer or trying to recall Scripture.

- Where am I emotionally immature?

If I let myself, I can write people off pretty quickly if they hurt me, whether via abandonment, ignorance, or willful choices. I also know that I am acutely unaware of my emotional states, and a lot of times I don't really deal with the emotional response to something until hours or days after it happens, which means I have to be careful that I don't spill that emotion onto a situation that it is not related to.

Important verses: Jeremiah 2:11-13; Romans 1:21-23; 1 Corinthians 6:9-12; Psalm 110:1; Romans 8:15-16; John 1:18